Macavity:
the Mystery Cat |
||
from
Old Possum's Book of Practical Cats |
||
by
T.S. Eliot in 1939 |
||
Macavity's a Mystery Cat: he's called the Hidden Paw― | ||
For he's the master criminal who can defy the Law. | ||
He's the bafflement of Scotland Yard, the Flying Squad's despair: | ||
For when they reach the scene of crime―Macavity's not there! | ||
...Macavity, Macavity, there's no one like Macavity, | ||
He's broken every human law, he breaks the law of gravity. | ||
His powers of levitation would make a fakir stare, | ||
And when you reach the scene of crime―Macavity's not there! | ||
You may seek him in the basement, you may look up in the air― | ||
But I tell you once and once again, Macavity's not there! | ||
…Macavity's a ginger cat, he's very tall and thin; | ||
You would know him if you saw him, for his eyes are sunken in. | ||
His brow is deeply lined with thought, his head is highly domed; | ||
His coat is dusty from neglect, his whiskers are uncombed. | ||
He sways his head from side to side, with movements like a snake; | ||
And when you think he's half asleep, he's always wide awake. | ||
…Macavity, Macavity, there's no one like Macavity, | ||
For he's a fiend in feline shape, a monster of depravity. | ||
You may meet him in a by-street, you may see him in the square― | ||
But when a crime's discovered, then Macavity's not there! | ||
…He's outwardly respectable. (They say he cheats at cards.) | ||
And his footprints are not found in any file of Scotland Yard's. | ||
And when the larder's looted, or the jewel-case is rifled, | ||
Or when the milk is missing, or another Peke's been stifled, | ||
Or the greenhouse glass is broken, and the trellis past repair― | ||
Ay, there's the wonder of the thing! Macavity's not there! | ||
…And when the Foreign Office find a Treaty's gone astray, | ||
Or the Admiralty lose some plans and drawings by the way, | ||
There may be a scrap of paper in the hall or on the stair― | ||
But it's useless of investigate―Macavity's not there! | ||
And when the loss has been disclosed, the Secret Service say: | ||
"It must have been Macavity!"―but he's a mile away. | ||
You'll be sure to find him resting, or a-licking of his thumbs, | ||
Or engaged in doing complicated long division sums. | ||
…Macavity, Macavity, there's no one like Macavity, | ||
There never was a Cat of such deceitfulness and suavity. | ||
He always has an alibi, and one or two to spare: | ||
At whatever time the deed took place―MACAVITY WASN'T THERE! | ||
And they say that all the Cats whose wicked deeds are widely known | ||
(I might mention Mungojerrie, I might mention Griddlebone) | ||
Are nothing more than agents for the Cat who all the time | ||
Just controls their operations: the Napoleon of Crime! | ||
. . |